Eastern Rebel Wonderland
by Disciple of Ember
Summary: A series of unrelated shorts examining what happens when you combine magic, technology, and a total lack of intelligent narrative. I apologize for nothing.
1. Just Another Incident

**Author's note: So. Recently a friend got me into Code Geass. Given how awesome a series that is, it came as no surprise when the urge to write for it started to override my better judgement. Mix that with a semi-recent induction into Touhou, and you get this. Thankfully, this time at least it's going to be a bunch of one-shots instead of a massive sprawling story. Anyway, that's the long and short of it.**

 **Disclaimer: In case it wasn't obvious, I don't own anything of the Touhou Project or Code Geass.**

* * *

Just Another Incident

 _It was an ordinary day in Gensokyo. Anarchy brewing, new arrivals showing up with promises of war, dangerous machinery that bordered on the supernatural. Perfectly, and completely normal._

* * *

There were times when Reimu disliked being the closest thing to a figure of authority in Gensokyo. In fact, if one were to seriously listen to all the complaints she had with her lot in life, they might even go so far as to say she hated it in general.

While that wasn't strictly true, situations like these seemed determined to push her in that direction.

Beside her, Marisa whistled as the procession of 'diplomats' passed beneath the tori gates. "Man, these guys know how to travel in style! How much do you think the kappa would pay for one of those things?"

Outsiders were nothing new. Every now and then, the barriers between the land of fantasy and the other world would grow thin enough that people could slip inside. Sometimes it was an unfortunate accident. Other times, a certain particularly troublesome gap youkai decided to help matters along for reasons known only to herself. Whatever the case, having displaced people end up in Gensokyo wasn't uncommon.

Normally, Reimu didn't really pay attention to them either. Outsiders weren't under her jurisdiction, and given that most of them didn't last long enough for her to track them down, much less do anything about, it really wasn't her problem. They usually either got lucky and slipped back out the same way they came in, settled down in the human village when they found out there was no going back, or got eaten by some random youkai when they did something stupid, like try to pick a fight or follow the ominous glowing lights that seemed to stay just out of reach.

Of course, every now and then, there would be _those_ kinds of outsiders. The kind who had enough strength to avoid being killed during their first night, and the stubborn attitude to make a problem of themselves. The kind that caused Incidents, with a capital I.

She knew all about the troublesome ones. Her first had tried to abduct her along with several others for use in some shady science experiment to prove the existence of magic or some nonsense. Another had tried to run her out of business by opening up a rival youkai extermination shrine. So yes, she'd dealt with outsiders like them before. Enough that she could pretty genuinely recognize their kind at a glance.

And these were certainly _those_ kinds of outsiders.

Her shrine, normally desolate and empty aside from a few troublesome youkai and fairies, was packed to the brim with humans from the village who were all fighting to get a look at the newcomers. The excitement was palpable, running through the air like an electric current that did nothing to sooth the irritation she was feeling. She'd have killed to draw a crowd like this on any other occasion, but she knew they weren't here to offer donations or tokens of gratitude for all the work she did to protect them. No, they were here for the show.

The Black Knights.

The crowd erupted in cries of awe and wonder as an assortment of massive, humanoid machines carrying weapons larger than a man rolled into position on the grounds of her shrine, stopping just short of the mass of people. Their sleek, black exteriors shone in the dim light of the setting sun like monoliths of steel that stood in defiance of the magical world they occupied. The effect didn't go unnoticed, as the youkai who inhabited the outskirts of the congregation ranged from shooting nervous glances at the giants, to outright glaring daggers after the declaration that had been made earlier that same day.

As one, the monsters opened up, their rear compartments splitting and extending to reveal much smaller human figures seated inside. The murmurs of the crowd erupted into outright cheers as the lead machine's cockpit parted to reveal a figure dressed head to toe in flowing black garments. His mask glinted like an obsidian beacon as he stood, causing the uproar to grow louder and louder.

"Looks like they know how to play the crowd, eh?" Marisa remarked, elbowing her in the ribs with a cheeky grin. "Better watch out Reimu. Wouldn't want to lose out to the new guys."

"Shut it."

She knew they cut an impressive figure. It was hard not to really, when standing astride giant battle mechs. The effect was only magnified by the fact that most from the human village still found plumbing to be a strange and advanced technology. For her part, having been held hostage aboard a literal interdimensional space ship before had diminished some of the effect.

Reimu waited patiently, or as patiently as she could given the circumstances, while the black-clad soldiers dismounted their giant machines and made their way through the exultant crowd towards her. Those around them parted ways as though one of Sanae's miracles had taken hold of their senses, bowing their heads as the Black Knights passed, and reaching out for the chance to touch the fabric of their uniforms. The Knights and their leader bore the focus without complaint, appearing quite used to the treatment as they crossed the remaining distance and halted just short of the shrine maiden.

The masked man raised his hand, and the crowd behind him quieted down almost immediately. She certainly wasn't pleased to see _that_ kind of authority being wielded, but had already resigned herself to humoring his entrance. After a rather unnecessarily dramatic pause, he fixed his unreadable gaze upon her.

"Reimu Hakurei, of the Hakurei shrine!" He declared, somehow speaking loud enough that even those in the far back could hear without shouting. "I am Zero, and these are my champions of justice! The Black Knights!"

In perfect synchronization, his followers formed up on either side of him, one hand pulling down their specially made visors to obscure the upper parts of their face as they struck a pose that was equal parts impressive and reserved, to the deafening applause from the crowd behind them.

Cute. She wondered how many hours they spent practicing that in front of a mirror.

"We have come to this land of yours, hearing the pleas of those trampled underfoot by a tyrannical system carried to us by the far winds!" Zero continued, sweeping one hand outwards to encompass the citizens of the human village. "A tyranny that takes the form of inhuman monsters preying on the helpless and the weak! A tyranny that we, as defenders of all those without the power to defend themselves, could not allow to continue! I understand that you are charged with the protection of the humans that inhabit this place…"

He held out his hand towards her, a gesture which might have looked like a peace offering to anyone who was too blind to miss how calculated it was.

"On behalf of the United States of Japan, I hereby extend this greeting in the hopes that we may work together for the betterment of all mankind!"

Once again, the crowd went wild, cheering his name like a talisman against the darkness. She also noted that of the youkai on the sidelines, very few looked like they were enjoying themselves anymore.

She spared a quick glance at Marisa, and found the black and white witch grinning from ear to ear. She was loving this whole spectacle no doubt. In all likelihood, she'd end the day with a few more outside world souvenirs.

Reimu was half tempted to beat some sense into these lunatics here and now, but with so many people nearby, and given the reaction they'd just caused, she was obligated to at least hear him out. My, how she hated dealing with people like this.

"I don't know about all that." She said carefully, choosing not to take his offered hand. "But I think it's time the two of us had a chat. Alone. If you want to try your hand at diplomacy, we can do it inside. Your friends will have to wait out here though. I don't want to clean up after all of them if they make a mess in my shrine."

She could tell that her answer wasn't well received by the hard looks his followers were giving her, but a lifetime of fighting some of the most dangerous creatures in all of Gensokyo had rendered her all but impervious to dirty looks. Zero, for his part, took the remark in stride.

"It would be my pleasure." He said, smoothly transitioning his pose into a respectful half-bow. "Please, lead the way. We have much to discuss."

 _Yeah, like how many heads I'm gonna have to crack tonight._ Reimu thought to herself. Instead of speaking her mind, she simply nodded turning around and starting back towards the shrine where the two of them could talk without a horde of people breathing down their necks.

It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

Not long after, Reimu found herself seated across from the self-proclaimed warrior of justice at her table.

"Normally I'd offer to make some tea, but I don't think that playing the hospitable host is necessary for an invasion force." She said as they knelt down, fixing him with a meaningful glance. Annoyingly enough, that actually got him to chuckle.

"There's no need to trouble yourself, miss Hakurei." He replied just a bit too easily. "My mission here is to liberate the people of Gensokyo, not impose myself upon them."

"Right. About that." She said with a sigh, folding her arms across her chest. "Just what is it you're after exactly? I've heard the news that you showed up in the middle of the human village and apparently declared war on the youkai. That's… really not a smart move. At all."

"What I'm after?" He asked. "As I've said, miss Hakurei-"

"Reimu is fine." She cut in, quickly tiring of the formal tone.

"Reimu then. As I have said, my people and I are champions of justice, come to save humanity from the subjugation enforced upon them at the hands of these youkai. We have come to put an end to the exploitation of the weak by the strong, and shape a nation where all people may stand on equal ground. This is my dream. This is the dream of the Black Knights."

Great. Yet another person wielding ideological nonsense and playing off the fears of the locals to get their way. Just what she needed. Now all she had to do was figure out if he was a Byakuren or a Remilia.

She took another look at him.

No, scratch that, she already knew. He was definitely a Remilia. This guy… Zero, practically radiated megalomania. If he and the little vampire were to meet, it would either turn into a bloody battle for superiority, or love at first sight. Probably both.

"Well, I think there's been a misunderstanding." Reimu said, working hard to keep her voice calm and neutral as she placed her hands on the table. "Namely about the way things work around here. Gensokyo is already a place for all people, and while it's not an _even_ playing field, it's a _balanced_ one."

She looked directly into his mask, willing her iron gaze to break past the shroud.

"My job, in addition to keeping the citizens of the human village safe, is to preserve the balance of Gensokyo as a whole. Now, when someone does something stupid and upsets that balance, like oh say… _declaring war on half the world_ , it falls to me to keep things from falling apart. Do we understand one another?"

He leaned forwards, propping his chin on one hand as he regarded her. Something about the gesture radiated amusement, which only served to further grate on her nerves.

"And if one were to continue on upsetting this balance?" He asked with faux innocence.

"Then I'd have to beat them and all their little pals senseless, before shipping them back to wherever they came from." She concluded evenly, pulling several ofuda from her sleeve for emphasis. They didn't have the same impact on a human that they did on a youkai, but humans were notoriously fragile by comparison.

For a long moment, he simply sat in silence, his mask hiding whatever thoughts were running through his head at the moment. Reimu was tensed, ready to forcibly evict him and his thugs if he gave her the slightest reason to.

"You know, I've heard quite a lot about you from the villagers." He said. She wanted to roll her eyes. No doubt he'd been regaled by stories of the 'youkai shrine' and it's lazy good for nothing keeper. He wouldn't be the first to bring up her shoddy reputation, but at least it would give her the reason she needed to kick him to the curb. "You've done quite a lot of good work for the people here."

"Eh?" Her violent thoughts ground to a halt, caught off guard by the unexpected praise.

"Yes, quite a lot of good indeed." He continued, nodding sagely. "And not just in doing your job either. Not to say your work isn't impressive in its own right. The stories of your exploits are almost unbelievable in scope. But even more than that, I must say that I'm impressed by the work you did even without having to."

"Just what are you getting at?" She questioned, highly suspicious of the direction this conversation was going.

"The spell card system, of course." He answered. "A non-lethal form of combat that allows both humans and youkai to compete without resorting to outright bloodshed. It's an exemplary form of dispute resolution. Positively inspired, if I may say so."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't speak up. Danmaku was one of the things she genuinely prided herself on, and though some might have tried to demean it by claiming it was nothing more than 'play fighting' almost all inhabitants of Gensokyo had taken to the system on some level.

"It shows a splendid initiative, and allows you, as the mediator of this world, to enforce your will in a way that minimizes casualties." He said, giving her a nod of respect that only served to heighten her suspicion. "If I might ask a bit more about this system… Am I to understand that you are exceedingly skilled at it?"

"Yeah. I am." Reimu said, raising an eyebrow. It wasn't just vanity speaking. Her defeats were few and far in-between, as Gensokyo's toughest could all attest to.

"As I suspected of the one who crafted the system." Zero said. "And is it true that you can use this mode of combat to compel others to act in accordance with your will?"

That was enough to trip a couple alarms in her head. The entire question sounded like something she'd be asked just before an incident kicked off.

"More or less…" She answered slowly, drawing out her gohei for good measure. "I think it's time you leave…"

"On the contrary…"

A hidden hatch on the side of his helmet slipped open, and she found herself staring straight into a piercing violet eye.

"I think it's time we… _negotiate…_ "


	2. Subconcious Influence

**Author's note: Fair warning. This one gets a bit... darker.**

* * *

Subconcious Influence

 _No matter how high you climb or how far you fall, there's always someone behind the scenes pulling all the strings._

* * *

The air was heavy. Oppressive. Despite the joy and excitement of the people below, the interior of the Gawain was suffused with the weight of what was about to happen.

Lelouch, Zero, the young man who would change the world, was on his way to the most difficult fight of his life.

He would be ready. Every eventuality had already been planned for. The possibility of betrayal, the loyalty of the sub-viceroy's guards, the difficulty of getting her alone, dozens of escape routes, and the exact times and locations where each of his soldiers needed to be in order to defame the woman who would oppose him by offering exactly what his followers were looking for.

"We're on final approach. Touchdown in three minutes." C.C. informed him from the front of the cockpit.

"Perfect." Lelouch replied, donning his helmet as he leaned into the seat. "We'll descend slowly. It's only right that we should give the people a show on a day as big as this."

She merely nodded, well-versed in his love of dramatic action by this point. Lelouch allowed her to take control of their flight, pressing his hands together as he went over his strategy for what must have been the hundredth time. Everything had to be perfect. Any flaw could prove disastrous, and with so much on the line, he couldn't afford to let that happen.

Yes. He was ready. He was in control. He was-

"Ooh!"

-not alone.

With a start, he realized that a young girl had all but appeared beside him, dressed in a yellow and green outfit and wearing a black hat upon her head. Some kind of blue sphere hung in front of her chest, suspended by vein-like tubes that snaked back beneath her outfit. What was much more concerning, however, was the fact that she was currently reaching for the control panel.

"Don't touch that!" Lelouch chided, swatting the child's hand away. She pouted in annoyance, but he didn't have time to deal with that right now. He had a mission to accomplish, and everything had to be-

"Don't touch what?"

He looked up to find C.C. turned back towards him with one eyebrow raised and an expectant look on her face. He frowned for a moment.

"What?"

Apparently that hadn't been the answer she was hoping for, because she gave him a strange look before shaking her head and turning back to piloting the knightmare frame. He gave a silent sigh. When this was over he'd need to have a discussion with her about distracting him during missions. It wouldn't do to have him miss something because of needless questioning.

"Wow! Look down there!"

Lelouch's eyes drifted towards the viewing display, and was quickly filled with the sight of thousands upon thousands of people filling the grand stadium below. So many elevens… soon to be Japanese, had come to celebrate this momentous occasion. Their hope poured out in the form of resounding cheers as the Gawain started to draw closer, growing stronger with every passing moment.

A smile formed beneath his mask. The more people, the better.

"Can we go down there too? I wanna see what's happening!"

His mind was touched by a moment of curiosity to witness just what Euphemia was planning for the celebration. No, hold on. That wasn't right. There wasn't going to be a celebration. After all, he-

"What are you doing!?" C.C. demanded with a sharp look back, snapping him back to the present. Lelouch did a double take, only just realizing now that he'd been taking over the controls and angling them towards the crowd instead of the designated landing area.

"I… nothing." He replied, quickly correcting their course. "Nothing. I have it under control."

Just what the hell was he thinking? Ignoring the fact that he'd already gone through great pains to plan exactly how this whole event would go, dropping a fifteen metric ton war machine on top of a bunch of civilians was _not_ going to help him.

"Lelouch, are you feeling all right?" She asked, a touch of concern entering her voice. "You need to stay focused. If you're not prepared for this, everything we've been working for could be lost."

He grit his teeth in frustration, both at himself and at her.

"I _am_ focused." He hissed, making a distinct point to keep his voice even. "I am _perfectly_ prepared. Now… _please…_ bring us down."

She kept looking back at him, but he refused to meet her eyes right now. Eventually, she turned back and resumed the descent, headed for the staging point where they'd meet his half-sister face to face.

He shut his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. It wouldn't do to show weakness in front of the enemy. He wouldn't be beaten by nerves.

Neither of them noticed the girl bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet behind him.

* * *

A short while later, his rough start was all but forgotten. Things had gone even better than he'd hoped. Not only had he successfully touched down and made it past security, but Euphemia had agreed to meet with him alone in her own command center. This was his game now.

As the three of them got situated, he flicked several switches on the nearby control panel, killing the room's power feed and leaving them in darkness.

"You're taking a lot of care, aren't you? Even though the cameras are off." Euphemia asked, keeping up her welcome expression despite the ominous turn.

"Is it bed time already?" Asked a strange girl beside her, wearing a simple yellow and green dress.

"Because I've been hiding for a long time." Lelouch responded, biting back a wave of fatigue that struck him out of nowhere. Now wasn't the time for such things. "The fault of a certain empire, I'm afraid."

He reached into his hidden pocket, slowly and deliberately pulling out the pistol he'd stashed inside.

"Woah, what's that!?" Questioned a young girl, drifting up to his side to get a better look at the weapon.

"This is a needle gun, made from ceramic and bamboo." He explained, his eyes never leaving Euphemia. "It can't be picked up on a detector."

Her expression didn't waver, but she couldn't hide the note of worry in her voice. Whether it was concern for her own safety, or for _him_ , he couldn't tell, and he didn't want to.

"Lelouch… You wouldn't shoot me, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't." He conceded. "You'll be doing the shooting, Euphy."

"Huh?"

"Why would she need to shoot? Are you gonna have a duel?"

"This ceremony is being broadcast worldwide." He went on. "And the world's going to see you, a Britannian princess, shoot Zero. What do you think will happen then?"

This time, she kept her voice even and carefully neutral.

"Violence would break out, I imagine."

He smiled, and continued. "Right. Zero will become a martyr, tricked into a deathtrap, and your popularity will crash to the Earth."

The girl at his side sniffed, frowning up at him. "That sounds mean. Wouldn't it be better just to have a spell card match instead? I'll have one with you if you want."

"What kind of nonsense are you saying?" Euphy demanded, interrupting the strange thought of a card game that had entered his head. "Help me rebuild Japan…"

"If you arbitrarily push it upon us from on high, you're being just as bad as Clovis was!" He shot back. A hollow sense of satisfaction filled him at the way she flinched from the mention of their brother as if she'd been struck. "All conditions for this situation have been cleared. After hovering near death, Zero will be cheered when he makes a miraculous recovery. People don't care about reason, but they can't resist a good miracle. Now, take the gun."

He spun the pistol in his grip, holding it out to her. She merely stared at him in disbelief.

"There can be only one messiah." He reinforced when she made no move to disarm him. "Once they see you're a false one, the people will-"

A surge of pain exploded in his skull, emanating from his eye. With a cry of pain, he doubled over, one hand flying to the affected area as he felt something within him snap. Through the pain, he cursed the fates that had seen fit to push this on him now of all times.

"Lelouch!"

"Hey mister, are you okay? You don't look so good."

"Stop it!" He snarled, lurching back from her touch. "Stop giving me your pity! I won't take your charity! I have to achieve this on my own! And for that, I'll stain your hands with blood, Euphemia Li Britannia!"

His eye burned, forcing down the anguish that had been drowning him a moment ago as he prepared his Geass. No more song and dance. He would-

"I've given up that name!"

"Eh!?" He stopped, frozen in shock at her declaration.

"There'll probably be an announcement from the homeland soon, but I've given up my claim to the throne."

The girl who'd been poking curiously at his dropped pistol looked up at the declaration. "Wow! She must really like you if he gave up her name like that."

"Why?" He questioned, feeling a sickening weight settle in his stomach. "Not because you accepted Zero, is it?"

She merely smiled sadly.

"A price had to be paid for doing something this selfish, right?"

He paused, taking a breath as the information sunk in. His mind was already reshuffling the factors he'd long thought immovable, shaping them into a new and unfamiliar view of things. This was not how his plan was supposed to go.

"It's easy for you to give it up, isn't it?" He accused without force. "I suppose you did it for my sake."

"You're as conceited as ever, I see." She said with a small laugh. "I did it for Nunnally! She told me herself 'As long as I can be with my brother, I don't need anything else.'"

"So that's why she did it?"

"And that's why you…?!"

"And that's what made up my mind." She concluded. "It made me consider what was truly important to me. So do you see, Lelouch? I'm not giving up anything that's truly important to me. And don't worry! I won't tell anyone about you!"

He could hardly believe what he was hearing. A humorless chuckle rose from his throat as he demanded "and Cornelia?"

"It's not like we'll never see each other again." She answered, looking a bit less pleased as she thought of how her elder sister would react.

"You're a fool." He declared. "An amazing fool."

She pursed her lips. "I may not have been able to beat you at games or studies, Lelouch, but…"

"But in your own way, you ended up winning it all." He finished for her. "When I think about it, more than being a sub-viceroy, or a princess, you were always just plain Euphy."

Her face softened, as a warm expression took hold. With the same slow deliberation he'd shown when ordering her to shoot him, she held out her hand.

"Then will you do this with plain little Euphy?"

Silence fell. One that he knew beyond any shadow of a doubt would shape the course of history. This decision would change everything. Beside him, the girl who'd been watching in rapt silence looked back and forth between the two of them.

"Are you gonna do it!?" She demanded, practically shaking with eager impatience as her private show reached its climax. "Are you!? C'mon! C'mon! You gotta, right?"

"You… You are the worst enemy I've ever faced." He conceded, taking her hand. "You win."

Those two words sealed his fate, and the fate of everything he'd worked for. In a way, an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. After spending so long seeing the worst humanity had to offer, he couldn't help but feel proud of this defeat.

"Let's find out a better use for this special zone of yours." He said as her face melted into an overjoyed smile. "Oh, but I won't act as your subordinate, all right?"

"Right!" She agreed, overcome by happiness as the sound of one person clapping filled the room. After a pause, she added "still, you don't have much faith in me, do you? Did you really think you could get me to shoot you just by threatening me?"

"Yeah, what was all that about? Aren't you two friends?"

"Oh no, that's not it." Lelouch replied, speaking before he could even think of stopping himself. "If I order someone to do something, no one can resist. To shoot me, to dismiss Suzaku, any order at all."

He'd admitted it. He'd actually just admitted the use of his powers in front of another person. Why in the world had he done that…?

"Oh, you're just being silly now." Euphy said with a smile. A note of relief hit him. Of course she wouldn't take it seriously. He opened his mouth to say that yes, obviously he was just having a bit of fun when…

"Really!?"

He paused.

"Can you really, actually make people do things?"

For some reason, he felt compelled to argue the truth.

"Anything at all?"

He would need some kind of example though. One that carried enough weight get his point across.

"Even if it was something she didn't want to do? Even if it was something bad?"

Somehow, his thoughts drifted towards darker seas, as extreme cases pushed their way to the forefront of his mind.

"Like something really, _really,_ bad even?"

Yes. That one should do it. Something really, really, bad that she would never consider doing. That would be more than enough to make his argument.

Humoring the desire to confirm his hidden truth, he turned to Euphemia.

* * *

Deep within the Palace of the Earth Spirits, Satori Komeiji looked up from the book she was reading to find her younger sister in front of her. This alone was not reason for concern. Koishi came and went as she pleased, and could never be found unless she wanted to. What was much more noteworthy was the expression on her face.

She looked… thoughtful. Somber even. It was a much heavier display than she'd seen from the girl since she'd closed her third eye and sealed herself off from the conscious world.

"Koishi?" She asked lightly. "Welcome back. Is something the matter?"

The younger of the Komeiji sisters didn't answer right away, choosing instead to stare at nothing with her unfocused gaze. After several moments of silent contemplation, she seemed to decide on what to say.

"Sister?" She asked. "People don't like being shot, do they?"

Satori blinked. She was no stranger to the odd, and often random, things that her sibling would say during her visits, but that was peculiar even for her.

"No, I don't believe so." She replied carefully, recalling several of the danmaku duels she'd had with intruders since the incident with Utsuho. "Why? Did something happen on the surface?"

Koishi didn't reply. Her expression shifted from thoughtful to something approaching outright troubled. That alone was enough to raise alarms in Satori's head, but she knew that trying to get a direct answer out of the girl when she wasn't in the mood to talk was a futile effort.

Before long, the younger sister wandered off, wearing that same mask of almost-worry as she strolled away without direction. Satori watched her depart.

With a sigh, she made a mental note to get in contact with the shrine maiden to find out if anything major had occurred. Whatever it was, something bad had happened, and it ever fell to her to mend the damages that her sister had unintentionally caused. It wouldn't be the first time she had to write a note of apology to an angry shopkeeper whose wares had been shifted around, or pay reparations to cover a broken statue.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something different about this one.

Shaking her head, she stowed those thoughts away for later. Koishi might have been a prisoner to her impulses, but it wasn't like she was openly malicious.

So, really, how bad could it possibly be?


	3. Gauditions

Gauditions

 _When waging war against the largest empire on earth, what could be better than having a literal goddess on your side?_

* * *

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. It really, really, had.

"Erm… is this thing on?" The green haired woman on stage asked, tapping lightly on the mic. The instant she touched it, the room was filled with the horrific sound of feedback so loud it could have passed for a cat being pushed through a cheese grater. "Oops! Sorry…"

In the front row, the only indication Zero gave was a slight flinch as the nails-on-chalkboard cacophony struck him. C.C. and Kallen were decidedly less reserved with the former glaring up at the offender while the other clutched her hands to her ears with a physically pained expression.

"No need to apologize." He said, which earned him two incredulous looks from the girls on either side. "Now please, let us get on with the audition. We will need your name, the focus of your powers, and what you would offer to the Black Knights."

"Oh! Right! Of course!" The woman replied, perking up almost immediately. With a modest imitation of a curtsy, she said "My name is Hina Kagiyama, and I'm the goddess of misfortune."

"You cause misfortune?" Kallen asked, backing ever-so-slightly further into her chair.

"Oh, no, no, no!" Hina answered quickly, shaking her head and holding up her hands. "I merely _absorb_ misfortune, you see. I don't actually cause it or anything like that, I promise you."

At that exact moments, one of the lights broke off the catwalk and came crashing down on the head of a guard that had been stationed nearby. The room was filled with the explosion of shattered glass, the thud of a body hitting the floor, and then dead silence as Hina rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Well… I suppose I should mention that, on occasion, some of that misfortune might leak out to those around me…" She admitted sheepishly. "Would that be a problem?"

"Is he dead!?" Kallen demanded, looking back and forth between the fallen guard and Zero. "He's not dead, right!? Please tell me he's not!"

"Thank you for your time, miss Kagiyama." Zero replied, neatly ignoring his second in command. "But I'm afraid that the Black Knights will not be needing your services. If you're still interested in amassing faith, might I suggest that you try and join with the Holy Brittanian Empire? I'm sure they'd appreciate your talents."

"Aren't they the ones you're trying to overthrow?" Hina asked with a frown.

"Yes."

"Ah, well… Thank you for the opportunity anyway." She finished, taking her leave. As she stepped out, one of the upper windows shattered, raining broken glass on the interior of the theater.

"Who's next?"

* * *

Between the interviews, Kallen took a moment to confront Zero about one aspect of the event.

"I have to ask, why is it that the Black Knights need a goddess?"

"Morale is one of the most important parts of any war effort." He explained, gesturing around them. "Without it, there can be no resistance. No rebellion. Regardless of how strong our nation may be, if the will to fight isn't there, we would be destined for defeat. The power of a divine being is great, but beyond even that, the effect they'd have on raising the spirits of our forces are incomparable. Nations throughout history of lived and died on the idea that God is on their side. Imagine if we were to have proof! This is an opportunity we cannot afford to miss."

"No, I get all that. What I'm asking, is why do we need a _goddess_?" She repeated, suspicion in her eyes as she glanced between him and C.C.

"I'm not cherry-picking the applications!" He replied indignantly. "This is everyone who was interested!"

"It is strange how few men there seem to be in this Gensokyo place…" C.C. remarked

* * *

"I'm Minoriko Aki!"

"I'm Shizuha Aki!"

"And we're the twin goddesses of Autumn!" The next applicants declared, standing proudly on stage. Though both were shorter in stature than Hina, they hadn't brought the roof down on anyone yet, so it was an improvement in that regard.

"Welcome Aki sisters." Zero said. "Do you have any talents to bring to the table?"

Shizuha, the elder of the two, stepped forwards.

"The changing of the leaves is my specialization." She said, throwing her arms wide. "When Fall descends, I am tasked with painting the leaves of the trees in the colors of the season, bathing the world in a tapestry of red, orange and yellow."

"And I'm the goddess of the bountiful harvest!" Minoriko declared, clenching her fist in front of her for emphasis. "I bring life to the tilled lands, and food to the hungry farmers! My specialty is sweet potatoes!"

"All right." He said, nodding. "Do you have any _useful_ talents to bring to the table?"

The two paused, exchanging a look.

"Not really, no…"

"We wouldn't be here if we did…"

"We'll be in touch." Zero dismissed.

* * *

"You know, the blessing of a harvest goddess is actually rather useful." C.C. pointed out as they waited.

"Believe me, I've done the math." Zero replied. "If we're fighting long enough to take advantage of the next harvest, we'll have already lost."

"I wonder how long it takes to paint all the trees?" Kallen mused aloud.

* * *

The next in line made a rather dramatic appearance, via a gigantic boulder smashed through the ceiling.

"Kneel before me mortals!" A dashing, blue-haired woman declared, standing atop the keystone. "Tenshi Hinawa, greatest daughter of heaven, has graced you with her presence!"

"I take it they don't use doors in heaven?" Kallen questioned, glaring up at the hole she'd made.

"Bah! You can't expect a _celestial_ to be bound by the laws of peasants!" Tenshi laughed, drawing her glimmering crimson sword. "Now, point me towards the foe! I'll bring untold ruin upon them and their nation! Earn my favor, and I swear that not one of them shall- OW!"

Her remarks were cut off as another woman, this one wearing an ornate scarlet trimmed dress that seemed almost impossibly light given its size, showed up and grabbed her by the ear.

"That's quite enough eldest daughter." She said with a sigh. "We're returning to heaven at once. Your father is going to be very angry about all the trouble you've been causing."

"No! Don't take me back Iku! I'm having fun down here! I don't wanna go back yet! OW! Let go! Stop pulling so hard!"

"Thank you for tracking down my wayward charge and letting me know she was here." Iku said, nodding towards the Black Knights. "You've saved me, and many others, a lot of trouble."

"Not at all." Zero replied, stowing his cell phone. "Simply doing what's right."

"Come along, eldest daughter."

"Argh! You'll regret thiiiiiiiiis!"

As the wayward celestial was dragged away, he turned towards C.C and asked "who's next on the list after her?"

"Someone called Junko. Not a divinity, but she works with one."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad." Kallen said.

* * *

"And then we drag Chang'e to the center of town and have her drawn and quartered! Then we quarter the quarters, and quarter the _quartered quarters!_ Then we heap all the pieces into a pile and feed them to the hounds! Then once they've passed through the hounds, we erect a pyre that is exactly twenty feet wide by twenty feet long, and..!"

"How long has this rant been going for?" Zero groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"Forty-seven minutes and counting." C.C. replied. "I'm rather impressed actually. It's been a long time since I've seen someone with a grudge this intense."

"Just let me shoot her…" Kallen pleaded, her gun already trained on the woman with shaking hands.

"Somehow I doubt that would make her stop." Zero answered with a sigh.

* * *

"Fufufufu… you were right to beseech me for this war of yours." The next applicant chuckled to herself. "Bloodshed is something I am quite _intimately_ familiar with…"

Between her dark, ominous presence, and the unholy wings sprouting from her back, she cut a terrifying figure. Or she would have, if she didn't look like she belonged in an elementary school.

"Are you even a goddess?" Kallen demanded, causing her to scoff.

"A mere practitioner of petty miracles?" She shot back. "No my dear. I am the legendary vampire, Remelia Scarlet! Invincible queen of night! The fabled Scarlet Devil! Descendent of the one and only Vlad Te-"

"Next!" Zero interrupted.

"Wait! Hang on! I haven't even gotten to do my evil laugh yet!"

" _Next!"_

* * *

"Finally. Someone who looks legit." Kallen remarked as the next person in line entered. The woman was tall, imposing, and carrying herself in a way that was equal parts smooth and calculated. Her garb was reminiscent of the feudal Japanese style, and the gravity defying shimenawa that hung from her back only added to her impressive figure.

"Welcome." Zero announced. "Please, introduce yourself and tell us what benefits you may offer the Black Knights."

"I am Kanako Yaska" She declared, her voice commanding such authority that all the guards present snapped back to attention, and even Kallen found herself sitting up straighter. "My traditional role is that of a war goddess, commanding both the wind and rain. More recently I have adapted to become a goddess of innovation. Both of these talents would prove invaluable to your rebellion no doubt. I feel we can come to an agreement easily enough. In exchange for faith provided by your followers and those who support them, I am prepared to-"

Her words were cut off as a lighthearted jingle filled the room with a mechanical buzz. Pausing briefly, she gave a humorless chuckle.

"Er… excuse me for one second…" She said, reaching into her sleeve and drawing out a very modern looking cellphone. _"What is it Suwako! I'm busy! I don't have time for_ …"

She paused, eyes widening as the voice on the other end said something. "What do you _mean_ Sanae got away from you!? I told you to keep her distracted! No, this isn't a good time to- hang on! How would she know that- _No! You calm down! This is a very important business meeting that I can't afford to-_ "

The door suddenly slammed inwards, and a green blur stormed into the room. Kallen, C.C., and Zero all jumped up from their seats as Kanako rushed to put herself in front of the new arrival.

"Are you Zero!?" The girl demanded, panting and sweaty, but wearing a grin that could only be described as borderline manic.

"Sanae! What happened to you?" Kanako asked, aghast. "Listen to me child, right now! You need to head back to Suwako and- OOF!"

Despite being head and shoulders taller than the girl, the goddess was bowled over as if she weighed nothing at all.

" **ARE YOU ZERO!?"** Sanae repeated, causing him to inch back. Before he could even think to respond, she continued. "When do I get to drive a mecha!?"

"What?" Kallen demanded. "What the hell are you-"

" _When do I get to blow things up in a mecha!?"_

* * *

"Last one…" C.C. sighed, hunched over in her seat. The interviewing process had taken its toll on all of them.

"Right…" Zero said as two odd individuals took their place on stage. "Please introduce yourselves, and what you preside over as goddess of… what you preside over..."

"Unyuu?" The larger of the two said, cocking her head curiously. A pair of wings extended from her back, and a burning jewel seemed to have been emblazoned on her chest. "A goddess? Where?"

"They're talking about _you_ Okuu!" Replied her assistant, who was decorated with a pair of cat ears and two tails sprouting from her lower back. "Remember? You absorbed the Yatagarasu and all that?"

"Hmm…" Okuu, or Utsuho as her name was written, adopted a look of intense contemplation before brightening up. "Oh yea! I did do that. Does that really make me a goddess?"

"Close enough, right? No c'mon! Win these guys over so we can join the war! Just think of all the corpses we'll be able to harvest!"

"Okay!" She cheered, raising one fist to the air. "I'm Okuu and I ate the Sun God!"

The three audience members merely stared at her before Zero broke the silence.

"Would you care to… elaborate?" He prompted.

"Elabawhat now?"

"He wants you to show off what you can do!" Her aid explained for her.

"Oh! I can do that!"

There was a brief moment of wonder as the large, cannon-like object covering her right arm began to glow, before everyone seemed to realize what that meant.

"No wait! You need to go outside befo-"

* * *

The destruction of an old theater in Eleven territory wouldn't normally make the news, but in this case, it was all over the headlines. A beam of light exploding from the ground and reaching far up into the heavens, so bright it turned night into day. Nobody could explain what had happened or where it had come from, but everyone agreed that it couldn't have just been an accident.

Some particularly observant individuals might have noted that it was about this time that the Black Knights suffered a sharp drop in public appearances, and when they did show themselves, were covered head to toe in obscuring clothing. If one were to examine their pictures very closely, they might notice that the few places where one could make out bits of skin were bright red, as if suffering some kind of terrible sunburn.

With that in mind, certain groups had suggested that the brilliant beam of light and the Black Knights were somehow connected, but no evidence was ever found to support this notion. With no more follow-up, the explosion faded into just another story, and the self-proclaimed warriors of justice recovered from whatever had ailed them.

Before too long, everything had returned to normal, and the only thing that changed was a particularly vehement declaration from Zero himself stating that anyone relying on divine providence to bring them victory was both a fool and a madman, and that triumph not earned with one's own hand was no triumph worth winning.

When asked where he'd come to such a conclusion, he remained cryptically silent. He was a rather mysterious individual, after all.


	4. Witch Country

Witch Country

 _Common sense tells us "any port in a storm." Common sense doesn't belong in Gensokyo._

* * *

Some days, you wondered why you bothered getting out of bed. Other days, you were too busy desperately trying to keep your insides on the inside to spare a moment to wonder at such trivial things.

Kallen was experiencing the latter.

"Come on! Just a bit farther!" Ohgi called from up ahead. "We've got to be getting closer by now. Hang in there!"

Of the other Black Knights, the only one with enough breath to complain that this was the third time he'd claimed they were 'almost there' was Sugiyama, and he was too busy pointing his gun at every stray movement to comment.

Kallen, for her part, could only let out something between a sigh and a wheeze as they all struggled onwards. By rights, they were all in prime physical condition. Fighting a war against the elites of a world-spanning empire was fairly taxing work after all. But everyone had their limits, and she knew that they were all rapidly approaching theirs.

She really should have known they were in for it when they all woke up in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but their weapons and a small amount of supplies on hand, and no memory of how they got there in the first place. They'd run through the possibilities, ranging from some kind of chemical attack, to some new form of psychological weapon deployed against them, to a dozen other equally outlandish ideas. Nobody could make heads or tails of it, but everyone agreed that they needed to regroup with the rest of the Black Knights and Zero before they made any rash decisions.

Which led to their next problem. Namely, being out in unfamiliar territory with no maps, no radio, and no way of navigating other than rough guesswork. It hadn't been so bad at first. Even without their Knighmares, they were still hardened soldiers, and had enough ammo and sense to keep them safe from any potential enemy patrols in the area. At least, that's what they had thought.

It had all started in the early morning, when the sun was just starting to rise. Tamaki had decided to do a bit of forward scouting on his own, and had stepped away from the group for a short time. It wasn't more than three minutes later that they heard the gunshots.

Kallen knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the scream that followed would be haunting her dreams for years to come. She hadn't known the brazen young man was capable of making a sound so filled with pain and terror. There hadn't been time to think then, only a desperate rush forwards to try and save their comrade, but no amount of preparation could have readied her for what they found.

Tamaki was on the ground, mouth opening and closing in silent panic as he clutched madly at the bleeding, ruined, chunk that was missing from his thigh. Crimson pools were steadily flowing from between his fingers despite his death-grip, and his face was getting paler by the second. A split-second wave of horror had struck her as she'd wondered just _what_ could have made an injury like that.

That is, until she noticed the figure standing over him. A little girl, probably no older than nine or ten years old, wearing a black dress and a small red ribbon in her hair. The innocent curiosity in her gaze would have been adorable, were it not for the gruesome dribbles of blood oozing from her mouth. Tamaki's blood.

The next minute had been a frantic mess of action as their entire squad had opened up on the kid, guns blazing. Kallen still didn't fully understand what had followed, but something like a wall of darkness had opened up around the girl, which took to the sky like a rocket, apparently deciding against fighting them head on. She could have sworn the orb of black… whatever it was... had slammed into half a dozen trees on its way out, but it was gone too fast for her to be sure, and there was a _much_ more important matter distracting her.

Luckily, it seemed Tamaki's injury wasn't as bad as it looked. He wasn't going to be walking on his own any time soon, Yoshida was practically carrying him at this point, but they'd managed to stem the bleeding and bandage him up. His rifle was gone, apparently lost somewhere in the scuffle, and they were all too shaken to think of looking for it until they'd left it far behind.

That was their first encounter with the locals. It wasn't their last.

These creatures, because she was absolutely certain there was nothing human about them at this point, were numerous. Several more attacks of varying severity had hit them since the early morning. Something that looked like a feral mix between a person and a wolf had managed to claw up Inoue bad enough that she was limping, and both Kallen and Yoshida had been battered to high heaven driving off some kind of blue winged girl who'd started shooting balls of ice at them when they'd stopped for a drink by a lake.

They'd effectively spent the whole day wandering aimlessly, slowly coming to realize that wherever they were, they weren't going to be getting home any time soon. Before long, night had begun approaching, and if the old adage of predators coming out at night still held true in this place, they couldn't afford to be caught out in the open when the sun went down.

Thankfully, Ohgi had managed to bring in some good news when, after climbing a particularly large tree to get a better vantage point, had actually sighted a cottage of some kind in the distance. None of the monsters they'd run across so far had seemed smart enough to build houses, though the ice girl-thing had certainly been shouting something at them the whole time, so it could be another human. Maybe one who could lead them back home. Even if they couldn't, it would be a place to stay until morning.

She was grateful for his find. She really was. She just wished he'd been better at judging the distance. What should have been a short hike had turned into a three-hour march through decidedly unfriendly forest terrain, which wasn't helped by the countless mushrooms that dotted the area. None of them felt like testing whether the unfamiliar fungi were poisonous, so their task had become that much more difficult.

"There! Is that it?" Kallen's head snapped up at Sugiyama's voice, a wave of euphoric relief washing over her as the sight of a rickety, but solid wooden building peeked out at them from between the trees.

"That's it all right!" Ohgi confirmed, grinning for the first time since they'd set out. "Told you we were getting close. Come on. Let's go introduce ourselves."

In the back of her awareness, the part of her mind that still held some tactical foresight warned her that houses like this should be thoroughly scouted before being approached. The part of her mind that was fully and utterly done with this place told _that_ part to shut up.

As the Black Knights staggered their way towards the structure, Kallen half knocked, half fell, against the door. Her fist pounded against the wooden frame, doing her damnedest to convey the urgency of the situation as she shouted. "Hey! Is anyone home? Please open the door! We have people in need of medical attention out here!"

Several moments passed, and no sound answered her calls. Not even the slight shifting of someone on the inside deciding whether to make themselves scarce or not.

"Hello?" She tried again, beating against the door harder this time on the off chance that the person inside was just really, really, hard of hearing. "If you can hear me, please! Open up! We've got injured and need a place to stay for the night! We can pay if that's what you want!"

Technically, that last part wasn't accurate since none of them had any money when they'd woken up, but she was sure they could think of something if it came down to it. Unfortunately, it didn't make a difference, as the house remained devoid of life.

A quick glance around was enough for them to all agree that they'd rather have to explain an unauthorized entry than brave the night outside. With a small nod, Kallen made way as Ohgi stepped up.

"Hang on a second. Give me some room here." He requested as they backed away from the door. He spent several moments looking over the wooden barrier for any obvious signs of weakness before drawing back.

In one lightning quick motion, he reared up and slammed his boot into the door. The heavy impact cracked across the clearing like a thunderbolt, quickly followed up by yelp of pain as Ohgi was sent tumbling backwards, holding his now-injured leg. The door remained entirely unmoved.

"Damn it!" He hissed through clenched teeth, rocking back and forth lightly. "That thing's a lot more solid than it looks."

"Just shoot it open…" Tamaki groaned, having recovered enough from his earlier maiming to speak up.

"If we do that, we won't be able to fix it afterwards." Inoue countered, though she didn't sound particularly happy about it either. "Won't do us any good to get inside if we don't have a way of keeping the other things out."

Tamaki grumbled something in response, but Kallen wasn't listening at that point. She'd already decided that, no matter what, they weren't remaining stranded out here, and had begun to circle the building for other possible entry points.

As it turned out, there were several windows at irregular intervals around the house that looked like they'd never known the touch of a cleaning rag. Even when she wiped away at the glass, it remained too smudged to get more than a vague impression of what the inside rooms looked like. Still, it was a possibly entryway, and that was all that mattered.

Kallen grinned as she hefted a moderately sized rock she'd found nearby. They could always board up the window afterwards, which would be far easier than barricading a broken door. The thought of a well-earned rest had completely overridden any concerns she had about vandalism at the moment. She spun on her heel, bringing the rock up in a pitcher's throw and hurled it at the glass with everything she had.

The moment the rock left her hand, a tiny thought occurred to her. If the person who built this house in the middle of a monster-infested wood had added something as breakable as windows... what was stopping the creatures from breaking in the same way she was?

Her answer came a moment later as, the moment the rock hit, the air erupted with a bolt of electricity and the sharp smell of ozone. Kallen gave a shout of surprise and fell flat on her back as the rock exploded in mid-air, showering her with bits and pieces of her former tool.

She just stared at the unscathed window, somehow a lot less surprised by this turn of events than she'd have expected otherwise. By the time she picked herself up and dusted off the worst of the rock shrapnel, Sugiyama had rounded the corner with a look of concern on his face.

"Hey? You all right back here?" He asked, pausing when he saw the remains of her attempt. "We heard a noise, and-"

"I'm fine!" Kallen insisted just a bit too quickly. "The, uh… we're not going in through the windows. It… it doesn't work."

Thankfully, he knew better than to ask. With a small gesture back, he said "come on. We should really stay together. I don't trust this place at all."

She couldn't argue that point. As they made their way back to the front of the house, the sound of a hefty impact and cracking wood filled the air, causing both of them to jump. Guns at the ready, they dashed back into view expecting another attack from the hostile denizens of this place.

This time however, they weren't under threat. Even better, a grinning Ohgi and Yoshida looked back up at her, both nursing their shoulders from where they'd impacted the door, which now hung open just enough to peek inside. Tamaki had been handed off to Inoue, and looked about ready to pass out from exhaustion.

"You got it open!" Kallen exclaimed, her face lighting up as she ran back to their side.

"Part of the way, at least." Ohgi answered, rolling his arm a few times to work out the soreness. "Could use your help though. Something heavy's keeping it blocked in place."

She didn't need to be told twice. Handing off her weapon to Sugiyama, she braced herself against the door beside both Ohgi and Yoshida. After a few moments of awkward positioning so that all three of them could push at the same time, they were ready.

"All right. On three. Ready? One. Two. _Three!_ "

Kallen heaved against the wooden barricade, the promise of shelter giving strength to her battered limbs as she put the full weight of her body behind it. Slowly, painfully slowly, their efforts were rewarded by the gradual shifting of weight as the door began to move, punctuated by the groans of something grinding against the floor inside. The gap expanded a little at a time until, finally, it was large enough for them to pass through without too much difficulty.

"That's… more like it…" She gasped out, retrieving her weapon. "Hang tight for a minute. I'll go in first and make sure it's safe." It paid to be careful, and she'd learned her lesson from the window trap.

Though it took a bit of maneuvering to line up properly, Kallen pushed her way through the gap, gingerly stepping into the house while keeping the barrel of her gun trained ahead. After giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the dark interior, it became immediately clear what had been holding them back.

"This place is a mess…" She remarked out loud, scrunching up her nose as something distinctly unpleasant hit her. "And.. uah! It stinks in here!"

A repugnant odor, like a mix of several different kinds of rot, month-old fungus, and a dozen other unidentifiable other sources, hit her like a freight train. Maybe _that_ was why this place had survived out here in the wilderness. She doubted many monsters would be interested in breaking into a place that smelled so… decayed.

"Aw man, what the hell?"

She turned to find Yoshida poking his head in the door, which as it turned out, had been holding them back due to a large dresser-like object that had been knocked over in front of it. At least, she assumed it was a dresser. It was difficult to tell given the sheer amount of miscellaneous junk that had all but buried the thing.

"Yeah." Kallen said with a sigh. "It's not pretty, but it's all we got. Looks like there's nothing waiting to kill us in here just yet, so could you call in the others? Oh, and make sure to warn them that they should brace themselves."

He gave a quick nod before ducking back out for what was likely to be the last bit of fresh air he got that night. She was tempted to follow after him, but setting up took priority.

If nothing else, at least this would help keep them from getting eaten.

* * *

A couple hours later, and the Black Knights had set up shop in living room, which was to say, the-second-room-that-they'd-all-decided-to-refer-to-as-the-living-room. It was surprisingly difficult to tell what any of the interior spaces had been designed for given they were all buried under heaps and heaps of whatever all this _stuff_ was supposed to be.

After the initial high point from having found shelter, the general mood had dropped again, and Kallen quickly found herself wishing, not for the first time, that Zero was here to lead them. At least with his guidance, the discomfort would have been tolerable. As it was, they'd all settled into an uncomfortable silence, occasionally broken up by a bit of chatter that died as quickly as it started.

"It looked so much bigger on the outside…" Inoue said sadly, sifting through the piles around them. Despite how dilapidated most of the stuff looked, they'd actually found a few useful tools among the heaps, and even some edible food in the cupboards to make a meager dinner with.

"Yeah, that's because we didn't know it was packed with junk." Tamaki remarked with a bitter tone on the couch they'd cleared off. Kallen hoped that his being able to complain was a sign that his injury wasn't life-threatening. "What idiot set this place up anyway?"

None of them had an answer for that. Whoever owned the home had yet to make an appearance, and it was looking less and less likely that they were hanging around.

"They might have left." Ohgi chimed in. "But I guess if they had, there wouldn't have been food lying around."

That was true. Aside from several flasks of strangely colored liquid that they all avoided, the food and water had been in relatively good condition.

"Maybe they died…"

Sugiyama's morbid observation shut the conversation down instantly. It wasn't hard to imagine after all. With so many dangerous creatures in the nearby woods, one would only have to get a bit unlucky and that'd be it. After all, it wasn't like the homeowner seemed to spend all day shut up in here. Even if they did, Kallen could easily picture them being buried alive under a pile of garbage in a freak landslide. In fact, that might have been what happened. The corpse of their temporary landlord could be mere yards away, and they'd be none the wiser…

Shuddering and shaking her head to dispel the unpleasant thought, she stood up. "I'm going to take another look around." She said, needing something to keep her mind off their situation. None of the others spoke up to stop her, so she took that as her all-clear.

Ultimately though, there wasn't a whole lot to explore. The house was pretty simple in its layout, and aside from a massive stack of books in the bedroom, so declared due to the fact that it had a visible bed, most of the odds and ends had a habit of blending together in one giant mess.

Ultimately, that was where she found herself, sitting at the foot of the bed and leafing through the pages of the first books she'd managed to grab. Though night had fallen outside, she'd picked out a couple candles and used them brighten things up enough to read, while being exceedingly careful to only place them where they wouldn't be easily knocked over. The flickering light they gave off didn't help her dour mood, but it was enough for her to work with.

The books themselves, unfortunately, were not so cooperative. The language they were written in was similar enough to _almost_ be legible, but just different enough to give her a headache. It didn't help that half the stuff seemed to be referring to something that sounded suspiciously like magic, a topic she knew very little about. She might have to hang on to a couple of these to decipher at a later date. If they were just the mad scrawlings of a crazy person living in the woods, at least she'd have confirmation. If not…

She flicked herself in the forehead. Look at her. One day chased by strange and weird predatory monsters, and she was already starting to seriously believe in magic.

As Kallen turned the next page, keeping up her reading more for the sake of going through the motions than anything else, a dried leaf fell out from between the paper and drifted to the floor. She frowned, reaching out to pick up the fallen piece of nature and stash it someplace where it wouldn't catch a stray spark, when she noticed a groove in the flooring. The leaf had landed just next to a small indentation at the foot of the bed.

 _It's probably nothing._

Even as she thought that, she found herself gently crouching down next to the tiny gap. Her fingers brushed the surface, before putting down a bit of experimental pressure. Much to her surprise, she actually felt it give, and was rewarded by a soft click and the sound of rolling gears.

Before her eyes, the wooden panel the bed was resting on shifted to the side, slowly revealing a stone staircase beneath that led down into some kind of dark cellar.

For a full minute, she simply stared at the newly made opening without truly processing what she was seeing. By the time her mind caught up to her actions, she had picked up the candle she'd been reading with, and had begun to descend.

This was stupid. Incredibly stupid. Indescribably stupid. She knew that, but she kept going anyway. It was like she felt compelled to see through her act of poor decision making. In an almost dreamlike state, she reached the bottom of stairs and raised her candle to see what was had been hidden down here.

She didn't know what she'd been expecting. Maybe more monsters. Some evil pentagram dripping with blood. Corpses chained to the wall, being eaten by rats the size of her head. There were a hundred different cliché horror movie tropes that had been running through her head as she ventured down.

She hadn't been expecting an ICBM.

As if to spite the world of mystical and unexplained nonsense above it, a warhead was resting beneath the floorboards of this… cottage… storehouse… whatever it was. A literal warhead. Complete with metal fittings, a rear engine, and a faded paintjob that didn't quite hide the deadly purpose of the thing it decorated.

She just stared. Nothing else. She didn't reach out to touch it, or pinch herself, or call to the others. She just stared. And, after a bit of time, something happened.

A black metal dot near the nose cone, which she'd assumed was some kind of oddly colored bolt suddenly contracted, before expanding back to its original size. It repeated this effect three more times before she realized that it wasn't contracting. No. It was _blinking_. Blinking, because the black dot wasn't a black dot. It was an eye. And it was looking right at her.

Kallen eyed the eye for a little while, her face unreadable as she let the candlelight play off the missile's body. Eventually, calm as could be, she turned on her heel and began strolling back up the staircase. She remained perfectly calm as she closed the hidden panel up again, and as she made her way back to the living room where the others were just laying down for the night. Finally, it was with the utmost cool-headedness that she delivered her statement.

"We're leaving."

Ohgi looked up from the space he'd cleared to lay down, giving her a questioning glance. "What was that, Kallen?"

"We're leaving." She repeated.

"Are you joking?" Yoshida asked, frowning at her. "It's already dark, and we all agreed that-"

"We're. Leaving." She insisted, more forcefully.

"Listen…" Ohgi said, rising up and trying to act as a mediator. "I know this place isn't the nicest we've stayed, but right now we need to focus on-"

" _WE! ARE! LEAVING!"_

Maybe her statement resonated with them. Maybe they sensed some of the dark things that were lurking in this house. Maybe the near-hysterical tone of her voice left them worried that she might start shooting if they didn't do what she said. Whatever the case, they seemed to get the message, and silently began packing up to delve back into the dangerous world they'd just escaped from.

* * *

The next morning, the sun rose to find a black and white clad witch descending from the air. Her fee touched down lightly on the dew-covered grass as she kicked up her broomstick and made her way back home. It was a routine she was intimately familiar with, but this time, something was different.

The door to her home was broken. At first she just kind of assumed it was something she'd broken and forgotten to fix, which happened more than she cared to admit, but it wasn't the only thing out of place. As she made her way into her house, she found far more out of place. Her carefully collected belongings were in even more disarray than usual, and her pantry had been raided. Several noteworthy items were missing too, like the old screwdriver that was just bent enough to be really aggravating but not enough to throw it out, and the radio-thingy Nitori had given her as a present last year.

"Oh my god…" Marisa gasped, as the gravity of what had occurred slowly dawned on her.

"I've been robbed!"


	5. Karakasa Courtesy

Karakasa Courtesy

 _One woman's war is another woman's playground._

* * *

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Left side! Third story!"

Inoue's Burai pivoted in place, locking on to the infantry signatures peeking out of a nearby building. Several rocket teams moving into position. A quick spray of fire from her main guns were all it took to scatter the already panicked troops back into the structure. By this point, she could hardly blame them for running. This was a bloodbath.

"Good work. We gotta keep moving up." Sugiyama's voice informed her over the comms. His voice was strained, having little in the way of its usual steady tone.

Zero was gone. Where, nobody seemed to be able to say. The officers of the Black Knights were struggling to keep the battle going, but without his seemingly omnipotent leadership to direct them, it was turning into a slaughter for both sides. The casualties were reaching irreparable levels, and with Britannian reinforcements on the way, it was a battle against time. If they didn't win soon, they were all going to die here.

"Inoue!" The call caused her to jump in her seat.

"Yes, I'm here." She replied, shaking her head violently. Stupid. Stupid. She couldn't get distracted now. This was the battlefield. No matter how much the adrenaline was causing her hands to shake, she had to stay focused. "Do we have orders?"

The pause he made was all the answer she needed.

"Still no contact from Zero." He said, confirming what they all knew already. "Keep to the original plan. Circumvent the main attack and pick off any Britannians we can on route to the objective."

"Understood."

She kicked her Knightmare into motion, taking point as Sugiyama fell in to offer support from behind. Ruined gravel and concrete crunched underfoot as the two of them sped down the street, struggling to keep the plan alive under Tohdo's directive.

The sounds of battle echoed all around them, as countless back and forth communications shot through the radio, rapidly turning into a complete mess of jumbled information as the command hierarchy began to dissolve. It was shameful in a way, how quickly they were starting to fall apart without Zero to lead them. She hadn't truly appreciated just how vital he was to the capabilities of the Black Knights until they were forced to fight without him.

"North side! Light vehicles incoming!"

This time she was the one to pick out the enemy target, already firing off a barrage that ripped apart the enemy troop transport, and sent the flaming wreckage crashing to ruin. The Britannian soldiers, seemingly not expecting such heavy resistance in this sector, hesitated for a precious instant as their tanks fought to spin their main guns around. By the time they did, the combined weight of the two Burai Knightmares had torn apart their formation, and left the few survivors fleeing for their lives.

"Don't let them regroup!" Sugiyama ordered, already in motion as his mech sped across her field of view. "Come on. We can cut them off up ahead and prevent them from giving away our position!"

"Right!"

She punched the controls, shooting ahead of him and rounding the corner. The longer they could go without being found out, the-

Inoue froze, her breath catching in her throat as she found herself staring down the barrel of a Britannian Sutherland. The towering armored war machine had been _hiding_ amidst the ruins, and now… now it's gun was aimed directly at her.

She knew there was no time to backpedal. No time to return fire. No time to even eject. She managed a single gasp of surprise before the enemy Knightmare pulled the trigger.

And promptly fired a storm of brightly colored confetti that showered her Burai from head to toe.

For a single, long, moment, she simply stared uncomprehending at her screen, before reacting in the only way that any sane person would.

"What the hell!?"

"Ha! I got someone!" She snapped back to the screen as a high-pitched voice echoed from within the enemy Sutherland. "Hey? You were surprised, right? Wait! I wanna see your face! C'mon, let me see! It was good, wasn't it?"

In defiance of all logic, the cockpit of the Britannian Knightmare Frame peeled back, revealing a figure which absolutely didn't belong. Instead of the tall, imposing figure that the enemy troops often cut, a small girl who looked a couple years younger than Inoue herself was standing up from the pilot's seat. She was wearing some kind of old-fashioned outfit of blue and white with wooden geta, and seemed to have an… umbrella? Some kind of large purple object at least, strung over her back. Even stranger than that, was her eyes. One, a deep blue, while the other was bright red.

The girl was bouncing up and down in place, waving her hands and shouting something, but Inoue couldn't hear it anymore now that it wasn't being amplified by the speaker systems in her mech.

Before she could even think of responding, the strange girl caught sight of something over her shoulder and gave a yelp of shock before leaping off the side of her Sutherland. Not a second later, a storm of bullets ripped into the Britannian Knightmare, tearing the machine apart and causing it to topple and explode in the middle of the street. Inoue's mind only just started to register that she probably shouldn't let the child escape when she caught sight of her blue dress and purple umbrella vanishing into a nearby alleyway.

"Damn it that was close. Are you all right?" Sugiyama's concerned voice cut across her momentary stupor as he drew up alongside. "Where the hell did that one come from?"

"I'm fine, I think…" She said. Thankfully, the confetti that was still stuck all over her Burai left her reasonably confident she hadn't gone insane and hallucinated the whole thing. "And I don't know. It looked like she was hiding here and waiting for us."

She heard him curse quietly, before turning his Knighmare back the way they'd come.

"This is bad… if they've got ambushes waiting for us up ahead, we're not going to have the firepower to break through." He said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was her. "C'mon… we should head back and get in contact with the others. Damn it. Of all the times…"

"Right. I'm with you." She confirmed, spinning in place as a shower of brightly colored paper fell from her mech. Without Zero there to coordinate things, the odds of them making a difference up here was slim to none.

As the two of them made to reconnect with the main body of the Black Knights, Inoue spared one last glance in the direction where the strange girl had vanished, before putting the matter aside for good.

* * *

Not far away from the two retreating Burai, Kogasa Tatara leaned against a bombed-out office building as she fought to catch her breath. Though her clothes were charred from nearly being blown to pieces, a massive grin was plastered all over her face.

Now she understood why Sanae always spoke fondly of the outside. This place was _exciting!_

The people here had the best toys, and they seemed to take their danmaku _really_ seriously. They even seemed to have group play rules in place. Okay, maybe they were a little crazy given how much those bullets looked like they'd hurt to get hit by, but cultural differences and all that.

Besides, she'd surprised someone! REALLY surprised them! That alone was well worth the sheer difficulty she'd had with stealing one of those robot things, loading it with confetti, and awkwardly driving it into some kind of hidden position while waiting for somebody to wander by. While she felt a little bad that she couldn't bring it back anymore since it blew up, she probably wouldn't have to eat for another month after a reaction that strong.

Not that she was content with that. Drunk on her success, she was already planning bigger things. Everyone around here was talking about some guy named Zero. She bet if she could surprise _him_ then finally getting back at the two shrine maidens would be a piece of cake!

Thoughts of foolhardy grandeur lighting her way, she began scampering off in the vague direction of the school. It seemed like as good a place as any to start looking, and who knows? Maybe she'd find someone else to startle along the way.


	6. Britannia's Strongest

Britannia's Strongest

 _Sooner or later, everyone must learn that some opponents simply can't be defeated._

* * *

"I'm warning you, Lelouch. There's no victory to be had here."

The leader of the Black Knights spared a moment to simply shake his head before donning his specially crafted mask. He'd heard the warning before. Multiple times. C.C. had repeatedly cautioned him against this course of action, but when pressed to give a reason _why_ he should hold back, she merely stated that some things were best left unsaid.

"I have been openly challenged." He replied, fastening his cape into place. "And Zero doesn't back down from a challenge, much less one from a child."

"Unless it's tactically advantageous for him to do so, you mean?" His partner in crime questioned, raising an eyebrow. He chose to ignore that part. If they were going to pick apart every hypocrisy in his carefully constructed image, they'd be here all night.

"That's enough." He said, striding towards the door. "If this girl thinks herself my match, I'll have to teach her otherwise, regardless of what species she may belong to."

C.C. rolled her eyes before following after him.

"I suppose this will have to be a learning experience." She remarked. "One about picking your battles properly."

He simply walked on, head held high. It was a short trip from his private quarters to the main hub, which had been specially cleared for the occasion. Only two members of the Black Knights were still present as a token guard force, both under the effects of his Geass. The rest had vacated the premises on his orders, leaving him alone with the newcomer. Normally, such measures would have been beyond dangerous given how many people wanted him dead, but the less people that knew of this… creature, the better. Secrets like these could be incredible weapons if used properly.

His guest looked up as he entered the room, an eager grin cutting across her features as he did.

"There ya are!" She said, punctuating the declaration by punching her fist into the palm of her other hand. "Are you ready to get beat down yet? I'm bored of waiting!"

Fairies. He would have thought the notion ridiculous were it not for the crystalized ice formations hovering around the girl's back in the form of wings. Not only did the mythical creatures apparently exist, but C.C. had even known this one by name. Cirno. The self-proclaimed 'strongest' fairy. Somehow, the fact that his green haired companion was familiar with members of the fey didn't surprise him as much as he'd expected.

Though this Cirno looked like a little girl, he knew better than to believe that front. Little girls didn't craft ice from thin air, nor did they fly at speeds which put most avian creatures to shame. Yes, he smirked to himself. This was no child, and his mind was already racing with ideas of how he could put her powers to use.

First though, he had to teach her who was in charge. She'd apparently taken personal offense to his growing reputation, and had gone to great lengths to get in contact with members of his syndicate in order to challenge him for the title of strongest. If he was reading it correctly, that status was more or less equivalent to the alpha position in the fairy social hierarchy. He hadn't seen enough of the others to know just how much influence that brought with it, but if he could get an army of mystical creatures to back up his foot troops…

A pleasant chill ran up his spine. One that spelled ruin for his enemies.

"My deepest apologies." He offered, smiling all the more when she didn't seem to notice his lack of sincerity. "I'm afraid your challenge came on short notice, and I am not prone to rushing into things. But if you're so keen on getting underway, shall we skip the formalities and get straight to the battle?"

Cirno jumped up onto her seat, grinning with unabashed confidence despite the fact that she was roughly half his size.

"Bring it on!" She ordered, pointing directly at his face. "I'll crush you in any match you want! Just name it! I never lose!"

Lelouch smiled. C.C. winced.

"As you wish." He said smoothly, opening one of the nearby cabinets to draw out a small, checkered case. Placing it on the table, he flipped the latches on the side, opening it up to reveal a set of immaculate chess pieces laid out in careful order. "I hope you're fond of strategy. This one is a particular favorite of mine."

He withdrew the pieces before flipping the case over and setting up the board. Cirno watched all the while, still filled with the same doubtless surety she'd worn from the moment she entered. That was good. He wanted her to be confident.

Where most might have been too shocked by the existence of beings like fairies to react, Lelouch had taken the information to heart, and had done extensive background research before meeting this challenge. He'd looked into folklore from dozens of different civilizations, finding old legends, and making pains to connect the often inconsistent information. While C.C. had been incredibly vague and unhelpful in determining the physical strengths of fairies, he'd decided that actual combat was too risky. There were too many unknowns to factor in, and a force as ill-described as magic simply couldn't be properly accounted for.

A competition of the mind, however, was another matter. He could already tell the kind of person she was. Hot-headed, utterly self-assured, and brutally direct. All clear. All exploitable. Mythical being or no, he knew he could win a match like this.

The final chess piece fell into place, and two mirrored sides faced off against one another. Black for the ice fairy, and white for the captain of the Knights. While taking the side of his colors namesake might have been more fitting, the advantage of going first was simply to enticing to pass up in this case. He would respect this opponent by crushing her with everything he had, so that there would be no debating the difference in their power.

"Let's begin, shall we?" He said, causing her to scoff.

"Thought you'd never ask!"

He'd decided on an opening move long ago, and without pause, drove one of his knights over the line of pawns and into the opening. If his estimation of her character was correct, she'd favor an aggressive style of play, where the mobility and speed of his mounted pieces would allow him to dictate the flow of the conflict. Failing that, he could harass her lines and irritate her enough to lose sight of the bigger picture. Even the slightest slip up would result in her utter defeat.

"Your move."

She took in the action with a nod, her features changing to an expression of intense concentration. One hand went to her chin as the other picked up one of her pawns. She held the small, finely crafted wooden sculpture in her palm, gently rolling it back and forth as she considered her options. After several seconds of deliberation, she made her choice.

And slammed the pawn down in the middle of his board edge, sending half his forces scattering across the floor.

"King me!" She declared excitedly, puffing out her chest with pride.

Lelouch gaped behind his mask in surprise. It took no small amount of self-control to keep from jumping up in indignation, but he managed to hold his ground, biting his tongue to keep the expletives from spilling out.

Was she mocking him? _Him!?_ No. That didn't seem right. She looked certain, arrogant even, but not mocking. He knew the expression people wore when looking down on their opponent. Was she not taking this seriously then? Thinking she could just toy around without consequence?

"Hey?" She pressed when he hadn't moved for a span. "What are ya waiting for? 'S your move, isn't it?"

He froze, another thought entering his head. One that was so simple, and so painfully obvious, that he was amazed he hadn't thought of it earlier.

"Cirno…" He began, choosing his words carefully. "Do you not know how to play chess?"

She cocked her head, looking at him with a curious expression before saying "What's chess?"

Lelouch wanted to smack himself in the face, but settled for turning a questioning glance back over his shoulder. C.C. for her part, didn't appear surprised in the slightest. No, she looked as if this was exactly what she'd been expecting.

"I warned you." She grimaced. "There's no victory to be had here."


	7. Kaguya Squared

**In response to the Guest reviewer, yes Reimu could certainly avoid his Geass that way (or just by closing her eyes) but she'd need to know it was coming. Part of what makes Lelouch dangerous is because nobody realizes he's controlling them until after the fact.**

* * *

Kaguya Squared

 _The world becomes a funny place once you factor in immortal hijinks._

* * *

It was beyond belief.

The tales she'd been told. The stories spoken from the mouth of those who claimed to have been there. Gensokyo. The Eastern Wonderland. A place where magic and fantasy are as physical as her own flesh and blood. And above them all was one legend. The story of the princess from the moon. The Bamboo Cutter's daughter. The Immortal Kaguya Houraisan.

What had first captured Kaguya Sumeragi's attention was the name. The fact that this legendary figure shared her own was reason enough to draw her interest, but it hadn't stopped there. Their titles, both a princess of sorts to their respective lands. Their situation, one exiled and the other a ghost of the once proud nation of Japan. Even their physical descriptions.

Before long, Kaguya had decided that she would see this lunar princess for herself. She'd done her research, looking into places where the walls between worlds became unstable enough to traverse, and gathered rough directions from those who claimed to have seen the other side. Her retainers, when they found out, had explicitly forbidden any attempt on her part to carry out this plan. They said it was far too dangerous, and that she needed to grow beyond these childish whimsies and take her rightful place among them.

So, naturally, she snuck away at the first possible opportunity.

As it turned out, getting to Gensokyo wasn't as hard as she'd imagined. Nor was finding directions to her double's estate. Apparently, the princess was a well-known, if distant, figure in this land. The problem, however…

"What… insane… savage… puts a pitfall trap… in the road!?" Kaguya demanded with all the venom she could muster, which wasn't much. She stretched her arm high, desperately grabbing for the lip of the pit she'd fallen into, only for her current foothold to give out and send her tumbling back to the bottom with a cry of dismay.

The Bamboo Forest of the Lost, as the name implied, wasn't easy to traverse. She'd lost her way a dozen times already, always ending up back at the start, and as if that wasn't bad enough, the _entire_ place seemed to be full of snares, traps, and other… inconveniences. She might normally have written it off as a deterrent for assassins, this girl was royalty after all, but she didn't see the point in defending an immortal from those trying to kill her, nor did most of these seem like more than humiliating irritants than actual defenses.

With a sigh of dejection, the wayward princess let her head drop back down in the dirt with a wet slap. Her caretakers would be furious. Not only had she gone against their direct warnings, but now she'd ruined her clothing, gotten herself lost, and was probably going to be eaten by monsters if the rumors were true. The last point probably should have concerned her more, but she hadn't gotten where she was by worry about silly things like her own mortality. She was Zero's woman after all, and his was a dangerous lot in life.

"Oh? Has this one already been triggered?"

She gasped, sitting bolt upright at the sound of someone's voice. Was it one of her keepers? No, definitely not. They wouldn't have been able to track her down so soon. Someone else lost in the forest maybe? Kaguya decided that she didn't care. Any shame she might have had from being seen in her disheveled state was nothing compared to spending the night in a ditch with only mud and dead leaves to keep her warm.

"Hello?" She called. "Is anyone out there? I'm in need of assistance!"

She heard the voice make a startled yelp, quickly followed by the shuffling of someone moving across the dirt path to her side.

"Princess! Is that you?" The woman called as she poked her head over the edge of the trap. "I'm sorry! Tewi must have planned to catch me with these. I'll get you out right… a… way…"

Her voice petered off as their eyes met, and Kaguya found herself staring in open amazement. No. This was not one of her retainers. Nor was it like anyone she'd passed on the way here. The young woman above her was of fair complexion, carrying a head of flowing purple hair that extended down past her shoulders. What stood out the most, however, were here ears.

Twin towers of fluffy white fur, twitching ever so slightly in the afternoon light as she peered down at the unexpected arrival. This girl was not human. Humans didn't have rabbit ears growing from their crown.

For a moment, the two simply stared, until Kaguya's face lit up in realization.

"You!" She cried while pointing her finger, causing the other girl to jump. "You must be one of the rabbits of Eientei! The servants of the lunar exile!"

Being addressed seemed to snap her out of the trance, as she quickly blinked back the confusion and fumbled out a response. "Um… er… yes, that is… I work at Eientei, yes. Who might you be, miss…?"

With a proud grin and a flourish that wasn't the least bit diminished by the fact that she was in a hole and covered in mud, she said "I am Kaguya Sumeragi, and I've come here to meet with your princess! Please, take me to her at once!"

The rabbit girl paused for only the briefest of moments before leaning down and extending her hand.

"Oh, you're a friend of the princess, then?" She asked as Kaguya grabbed a hold. "I guess it should be fine then… though I wasn't told to be on the lookout for guests. I'm sorry, if I'd have known I'd have met you at the entrance to the forest…"

"No need to.. urk… concern yourself…" Kaguya managed to eke out as she was pulled from the pit. With one final heave, she was freed and standing once more on solid ground. "Gah… I came here unannounced. I simply had to witness this woman in the flesh, you see. But I have to ask, how did you know I was a princess?"

The rabbit gave a small start, and her face suddenly paled as she took in the sight of Kaguya's dirt-laden clothes.

"Y-Y-You are?" She stammered out, one hand raised nervously to her mouth as her eyes darted back and forth. "I… uh… I'm terribly sorry for this inconvenience them miss Sumeragi. I wasn't aware."

"What do you mean?" Kaguya asked, attempting to brush herself off, only to give up trying when it became clear that she wasn't making any progress. "You called out to me when you heard my voice, didn't you?"

"Huh? Oh, there's been a misunderstanding…" The girl clarified. "When I heard your voice, I mistook it for the princess. Oh, er… I mean my princess. No! Wait! When I say _my_ princess I don't mean… oh… this is…"

Kaguya had to fight very hard to keep from giggling as the rabbit seemed to tie her own tongue in knots as she fought to get the words out and line them up properly. Deciding to show a bit of mercy before she simply collapsed in on herself, she interrupted.

"No, no. That's quite all right." She said, much to the other girl's relief. "Like I mentioned, nobody knew I was coming." _Aside from her guards, but those daft old men wouldn't be finding out till morning._ "Would you be kind enough to lead me to lady Houraisan, miss…?"

"Yes, I think that should be all right…" The girl replied, gulping down her earlier struggle. "Oh, right, and I'm Reisen Udongein Inaba."

"Inaba?" She asked, causing her to jump once more.

"You really do sound like…" Reisen began, before violently shaking her head and refocusing. "Yes! That's right. Please follow me. I'll take you to her. Just watch your step. This place has a lot of… well… pitfalls."

As she turned around, Kaguya's heart leapt for a brief instant. Her ears weren't the only thing about her that was rabbit-like. A small, puff-ball of a tail poked out from her lower back through a gap that had been specially cut into her jacket. It was so surreal that she almost found herself reaching out to touch it, but managed to hold the urge back. She couldn't very well go and scare off her clearly jumpy guide so soon. Not if she wanted to reach her destination.

Contrary to what she'd been expecting though, the journey turned out to be both short and uneventful. Falling in a hole and being found by a rabbit person had left her ready for more wondrous developments, and the amount of time she'd spent walking here already had implied they'd be going for the rest of the day. Yet, not more than fifteen minutes later, they found themselves entering the gates of a traditional eastern estate that had all but blended into the bamboo thicket around them.

It was startling how quickly the building seemed to sneak up on them. Had she not been following Reisen, she'd likely have never found it. The rabbit girl, for her part, seemed content to simply lead in silence while snatching the occasional glance back at Kaguya from the corner of her eye.

"Right this way, please." She said, gesturing down one of the open hallways. Kaguya nodded, following along behind her automatically as she surveyed the area. It was… not how she'd imagined it. From what she'd heard, she'd been expecting a lavish palace with countless inhuman servants waiting at every corner, and while the manor was far from mundane, it felt so much… calmer. More like a summer home than the residence of an immortal runaway.

"This is her room." Reisen cautioned, coming to a stop. "Please be sure to keep your manners about you, and be both kind and courteous."

"Of course." Kaguya replied with a self-assured smile. "I didn't come all this way to sully my name or impose on your hospitality."

That seemed to satisfy her, and with a small bow she opened the door. The sliding pane parted ways, revealing a large area that was modestly decorated with traditional Japanese items. Several varieties of swords hung from one wall, while another was occupied by a beautifully shaped miniature bonsai tree. A large futon, left out despite the hour, took up a large amount of the floor space, and a neat stack of books was helping to overcome the remainder.

On the other end of the room, a figure was sitting next to the window, peering out beyond at something she couldn't see.

"Pardon me, princess." Reisen offered, bowing almost double while remaining in the doorway. "You have a visitor. Miss Kaguya Sumeragi has come to see you from… er…"

"From the United States of Japan." Kaguya finished for her, stepping into the room. "I've recently come across a large variety of stories surrounding the legendary princess, and I simply had to see for myself. I hope that I'm not intruding."

"The United States of Japan…?" Came the woman's voice, tinkling in the air like musical notes. Kaguya had to stifle a gasp as the unexpectedly sweet sound brushed past her ears. "Kaguya Sumeragi you say…? Well then."

That was when she, the princess, turned around, and Kaguya forgot how to breathe.

According to the legends, Kaguya Houraisan possessed a beauty that had captured the heart of a nation, and had driven a whole host of suitors to attempt impossible things in order to win her hand. Standing here now, she knew the stories weren't even close to the truth. No, for beauty didn't even _begin_ to describe what she saw.

The princess was _perfection._ Flawless in a way that went beyond human. Even as her eyes drank in the features that carried the indescribable mixture of fairness and strength, Kaguya felt herself rapidly growing self-conscious. A feeling she was not intimately familiar with. Yes, standing there now, she could see a topical similarity between the two of the, but to be compared…

Suddenly, she became acutely aware that her once lavish clothing was still saturated with mud and plant matter. Had she not been so terrified of doing something ungainly in front of this… _angel_ , she might have been sick then and there from the lance of shame that cut through her.

The eyes of the princess fell on her, and she froze, not daring to move a muscle. The older girl's mouth twitched upwards ever so delicately, gracing her with the hint of a smile before she hid it beneath the sleeve of her kimono.

"Thank you Inaba, for bringing her to me." The princess said, granting the rabbit a warm glance of approval. "That will be all for now."

"Of course." Reisen said, backing away and sliding the door shut. "I'll be nearby if you need me."

And then she was alone. Just her, and the one with whom she shared a common name. There had been so many things she'd wanted to say coming here, but now her mind was empty. Devoid of any of the meaningless pleasantries she'd prepared. What good was talking about the agreeable weather when all the wonder of nature combined couldn't hold a candle to the person in front of her?

As she flailed about in her own mind, the princess turned to her once again. And, after a moment of looking her over, something startling happened.

"Eirin's going to be so pissed." The princess groaned, all the elegance and poise she'd been carrying washing off from her like silt in the rain. Kaguya's mouth dropped open in shock as the vision of perfection slumped with an exasperated moan, raising one hand to her temple as she regarded her guest from the corner of her eye.

"Well, good news and bad news kid." She said, her voice now sounding eerily familiar. "Good news is that you made it to Eientei in one piece, so congratulations on that."

"Bad news is, now we have to deal with a time paradox."


End file.
